Keep in mind not to let those bad days, weeks, or months turn into a habit. From unrealistic expectations to not having the time or energy for all that we need to do, its easy to fall into this trap. In the monkey world, you know not to reach for a banana near a stronger monkey because you could get bitten. But investing in self-care has so many benefits! I mean, think about it: Would you feel like a failure and be ashamed of your failures if you lived alone on an island? Do you have a compelling personal story youd like to see published on HuffPost? Just today, I decided I was going to finally make my website. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. If you strive to make things perfect, youll waste time and may never get there. We all go through the ups and downs of life. And more importantly, find another, healthier habit you can put in its place. struggling with new or potentially stressful situations, found it difficult to engage with their own kids. If you want to make a positive change in your life, you can leverage your powerful nature. A selfie the author took while combing for nits. unfortunately, that fear can follow you around as an adult. Feel like a failure when a work presentation or first date doesn't go the way you planned? It can seem like we are constantly doing things for other people without any time or energy left over for ourselves. I just want to go back to bed now. You need to make adjustments and re-organize things. "Your mother was a major influence in your life growing up, but now you are your own person, Guarino says. My son will be a doctor. A parentYoull top this year, Im sure. A teacher. Looking deep within ourselves to determine why exactly we feel this way can be incredibly frightening. we love our faith. In the past, women were expected to cater to a mans every need when she was married. Clean something. Getting quality sleep (and enough of it) can help you erase your overwhelming emotions and feel more balanced in the morning. Focus on the positive. Make an effort to connect with other moms. As an adult, this can transition into the anxiety that you may experience regarding your work performance and how you receive feedback.. But if she tried to pull the whole BFF thing when you were a kid, well it very well may explain why you have anxiety. The message was this it must be performed in a bralette and it must look like youre having the time of your life. Any mom who demands their kid be perfect will be more likely to set them up for a life of anxiety. When you think youre failing, make sure you express your honest emotions with important people. I start with something small - not big enough to be daunting, but just something to challenge me, so that I feel like I'm achieving something. Rest in Peace HooplaHobo, who was one of MadeOfStyrofoams founding fathers. Privacy Policy. 14 yr. old having sex, spending the night @ boyfriends house. Can we stop for a moment and ask the kid what they want? As a married woman, the world rests on my shoulders. They also remind me that being a good mom isnt about being perfect. When there is no hope, you will feel like quitting or not trying anymore. she saw one of my cuts and More progress on the door! Printables Shop Printables, graphics, backgrounds, SVGs, fonts, and design elements given on this site are for personal use only. It helps you relax, makes sleep better, and generally makes people happier. Maybe she steered clear of public places, stuck to a strict routine, or even discouraged travel, all because she didnt like it. Remember that you are not alone. Youve probably gotten sick of motivational speakers and success coaches constantly saying things like: Failure is the stepping stone to success!Success is failure turned inside out!Dont be afraid to fail!. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I cried in my Uber. Its important that you understand and get it clear in your mind that we all feel like failures at times, especially when it comes to parenting. As it turns out, seeing everyone doing things beautifully, all of the time, is taking a toll on a lot of us. Taking a probiotic can help your mood. What makes you a great mom? Looking at other mothers Halloween Pinterest projects was making me upset because my sons were simply going to wear[clothing brand]Carters skeleton pajamas as costumes, Maura, a mother of 8-year-old twins, told me. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". When you figure out your priorities, you help to align your day. Avoid them! These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. When they fail, they think theyre at fault. And, as experts reminded me, thats why its especially important to manage your social media usage and to step back sometimes. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, If you are getting nasty pms please see this post for more info. Being a mother is learning about the strengths you didnt know you had, and dealing with the fears, you didnt know existed. *This post may contain affiliate links. I make huge mistakes with my kids. If your mom was explosive, intolerant, harshly disciplinary, or had a short fuse, the fear of her flipping out likely created an unstable living situation while you were growing up, Guarino says. I really do try! The type of mother who doesnt have it together enough to ward off lice or commemorate the passage of time with a giant Mylar balloon. 7. Unless youve totally internalized positive beliefs about failure, you will feel bad when you fail. Becoming a mom is one of the most amazing and rewarding experiences a woman can have. Hence, we derive our self-worth mainly from the value we add to society. They keep repeating these messages because theyre telling the truth. The kind of moms who pose their children with first-day-of-school chalkboards. But tell them that youre human and you might get frustrated sometimes. The reality is, the very structure of stay-at-home mothering can make a woman who is already prone to depression even more susceptible. This is why bad habits are so hard to overcome. They never recognize anything I do. (For example, you were planning a natural birth and got a c-section instead? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Remember to step outside of that world and ground yourself in what is true. It churns my stomach and frankly, disgusts me to know I am the reason you feel so helpless. All the advice and wisdom around failure must be repeated endlessly because your emotion-driven subconscious mind cares a lot about your social standing. You are not a failure just because youre in a tough season of life. I know you want to help me. Planner Pages I felt highly inadequate and wondered what had happened to my creativity. When you do that, the voices of your limiting beliefs will haunt you: You cant do that.Are you kidding me?Who do you think you are?Youre good for nothing.. These are the kind of moms who other moms think are good moms. I drove myself insane exclusively pumping for six months, and I still felt less than because I didnt feed her directly from my breast. Our enemy wants us to wallow in the despair and hold on to the hurt. Constant criticism and shaming from parents, teachers, and other authority figures can make you internalize limiting beliefs. "When this happens, children often feel a mix of privilege and overwhelm to be there for their mom, which can result in a hero complex, an absence of a distinct sense of self, poor boundaries, and chronic and debilitating anxiety in adult relationships, says licensed psychologist Kate Balestrieri, PsyD, CSAT-S. Theres also a term worth knowing called parentification, which is when a child is forced to be the parent growing up. Cut to you struggling with new or potentially stressful situations as an adult. When they fail over and over, they see failure as a stable trait, not a temporary state. Even though other moms feel what you are feeling as a failure at being a mom, your distinct feelings may feel more complex than others. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. These feelings alert you to a loss of status that just occurred in your life. Its really starting to come Press J to jump to the feed. "When our parents minimize, dismiss, or tell us to 'get over' something, we learn that we are wrong to feel negative emotions," therapist Julie Williamson, LPC, NCC, RPT tells Bustle. And then my mum comes along, and tells me I'm not doing the right thing. If you don't know, consider asking that person directly. Give yourself time and grace, and then get back up and start fighting again. From my perspective, the worst thing a parent can feel is "hopeless.". Cut yourself some slack, smell medical-grade Wild Orange essential oil (it helps you not feel overwhelmed) and know that even on your worst days, youre still doing an amazing job. They see someone posting about their fabulous life. Ask your husband. Please remember that and let your parents know as well. Looking deep within ourselves to determine why exactly we feel this way can be incredibly frightening. So, You're Thinking Of Having Your Older Kids Attend A New Baby's Birth? As a result, you develop an anxious attachment, which results in you feeling insecure, anxious, and clingy as a child and then in relationships as an adult.". Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Ashez What makes these struggles worse is that Im experiencing guilt that Im not able to handle everything. When our heart is heavy, we can lose hope. And if youre really struggling, dont be afraid to ask for help. my mom makes me feel like a failure. It sounds like you have been a present, available and deeply devoted. This is at the root of why failure is so hard. If youre youre wondering what to do when you feel like a failure as a mom, here are a few things you can do to turn things around. Your mind loves calorie-rich foods because they helped with survival in ancient times. Courses You can have unrealistic dreams, but you have to have practical goals. If you need some reassurance, ask your kids. Many people keep trying different things without attaining mastery in any one of them. How Men Can Prepare For A New Baby, Dealing With Sibling Rivalry In Your Kids. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Crystal I. Lee, a clinical psychologist, tells Bustle. As parents, we need to keep trying because our kids need us. When they value us less, we also value ourselves less. A great way to avoid taking failures personally is to analyze them. So when you start to become bogged down, thinking about whether youre a good wife or mom, then consider instead what your relationship with your child or husband looks like and if youre both satisfied with the quality of the relationship. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. A year later, I had to stay late at work and I missed putting my son to bed. When you find yourself in a position of strength, it gives you the good feelings of a serotonin release.. The optimal nighttime environment should be between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit (or 16-19 Celsius). Problems with familyparents have any advice? Regardless of whether you believe in god or not, your heart will settle and fill with love when you focus on your purpose. According to clinical mental health specialist Lindsay Kandra, LPC-I, QMHP, if your mom required you to be good at everything you tried (like instruments or sports) and acted awful if you failed, dont be surprised if you feel anxious when you arent perfect or when you hit bumps in the road as an adult. What can I do? She doesnt need as many distractions and experiences more love in her life. Maybe you helped your mom through breakups or raised younger siblings while she worked extra hours its not healthy, either way. over a year ago, sscanady80284725 Taking care of yourself is related to the success you find in your life. . They feel less than and post something about their own incredible life. Why Emetophobia Makes Me Feel Like A Failure As A Mom. Sure, youll think about or listen to something motivational to recover, but there will be something to recover from. Go aheadget down, dirty and honest. How many times did your mom claim you were being dramatic or over-reacting? We do not endorse any form of private communities. But whats super important to know is how changeable it all is, especially once you venture out on your own. Maybe if I didnt work so much, or if I hadnt failed at marriage, or if I used the perfect organic baby shampoo blessed by Jessica Alba, none of this wouldve happened. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. It may lead to constant worries about your own reaction to things and to every detail of what is said, how it is communicated, and what it might mean, Dierickx says. They will understand you and help you work through your emotions. Master one or two things and learn the basics of other essential things. Your mind wants you to fix whatever it is that went wrong. Sometimes just having someone else there to help you get out of your head is exactly what you need. In other words: anxiety.. Please help :(. The kind of moms who pose their children with first-day-of-school chalkboards. Or vice-versa?). Interestingly, walking around, greeting people, and smiling are all things that can help your confidence levels as well! I realize that what I'm doing now is much more important than a high school . I couldnt accept that I was a full-time working mother with two babies to care for, and that all my creativity was being challenged into figuring out how to make our home safe and engaging., So many of the Instagram accounts suggested to me as a new mom focused solely on breastfeeding, my friend Julia, the mother to a 16-month-old and a 5-year-old, shared with me in a recent email. Perseverance. And dont forget to get rid of anything that might disrupt your sleep, like lights and noise. We are constantly comparing ourselves to other people and we think that their lives are better than ours, which can lead to depression and thinking youre inadequate and a failure. One-on-one time strengthens a relationship because it helps you to get to know the person better and to communicate with them more easily. And it's not just with school. Pray not for control, but for following His Will. 7. Your confidence increases. Humans are social and cooperative mammals. Then do something that you find relaxing like reading for 20 minutes before bed. Crystal I. Lee, clinical psychologist, Kate Balestrieri, PsyD, CSAT-S, licensed psychologist, GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC, licensed mental health counselor, Dr. Kevin Hyde, licensed clinical psychologist, Julie Williamson, LPC, NCC, RPT, therapist, Erin Dierickx, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist, Jacqueline Sager, licensed mental health counselor, Lea Lester, LPC, licensed professional counselor associate, This article was originally published on May 22, 2018, What Your New Years Resolution Says About You, The Beauty Device Kristen Bell Uses Every Single Morning, How Often Should You Do Yoga? Continue to pray over your life and your childrens lives. While its fine to talk a lot, ask for advice, and chitchat with your mom because you love her, take note if she gets weird/mad/sad if you try to be more independent or if you dont answer the phone. Putting in the effort will help you be more present and create deeper bondsthat way, they see how much you care for them and prioritize their needs, itll make a difference. My Husband And I Were On The Verge Of Divorce. From there, you can examine the relationship you have with your mom or dad, establish boundaries with her, and figure it all out in therapy. It takes time and dedication. These are common experiences, but its not an exhaustive list. Judging a book by its cover was a quick and valuable evolutionary strategy to prevent costly survival and reproduction mistakes. And when youre a stay-at-home mom, you might believe that youre a burden and dont deserve to spend money on yourself because youre relying on your husbands income. I should have never left my room. Compared to their own, the other persons high status makes them feel low status and powerless. Annalisa Barbieri. We don't want to be cleaning up when we just got home! As louse eggs were multiplying on my head, the seeds of comparison planted in my mind were hatching into a full-blown infestation of shame. Often, thats impossible to overcome with mere willpower. "Another major way your mother could have increased your chances of having anxiety is being overly critical," GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor, tells Bustle. Its much easier to avoid temptation than to resist it. He Knew The Secret To Being A Good Father And Now I Finally Get It. As Kandra says, This can lead to anything from anxiety and self-esteem struggles to more serious body dysmorphia and disordered eating.. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Parents play a very large role in the development of anxiety, both biologically and environmentally, clinical psychologist Julia Turovsky, Ph.D., tells Bustle. Making unhealthy comparisons is probably the number one factor that can skew a homeschool mother . According to Erin Dierickx, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, a weird tone couldve triggered anxiety that continues to this day. Start by making really small decisions, and take note when nothing terrible happens," counselor Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C tells Bustle. single. Nobody can have it all. Social comparison is a natural mammalian brain function,Loretta Graziano Breuning the founder of theInner Mammal Institute, which offers books and other resources to help you make peace with your inner mammal told me. sscanady80, Thank you for replying to me. Many people dont take the time they need for themselves and for their relationships, but when you do, there will be so much more balance in your life. What helped you get through these tough times? Our wonderful daughter appears to have lice, he told me. For example, you have to remove all unhealthy foods from your surroundings to eat healthy. Having that purpose can help you develop gratitude and thankfulness. Here are the ten things parents do that can destroy their children's self-esteem. Differences will keep feeling wrong. The good news is that we can get through these feelings by leaning on others, accepting help, and forgiving ourselves. Validate their feelings if you get frustrated or push them away because of your stress and burnout, and really hear them when they talk to you. Honest Bloggers Academy, Daily Planner Plus, getting outdoors with your kids and doing something FUN, can help turn a day around. I've come to terms with that. Teachers/educators: You may share these with your classes and colleagues as long as they are not edited in any way. You feel like a fraud and worry that people will find out about you. You may post and comment as you please. When you get overwhelmed, you need to step back from your life to get a big picture view of your life. Overwhelm paralyzes you and makes you slip back into bad habits. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Whatever the reason, its normal to feel like a failure as a mom from time to time. A 2015 study published in Journal of Family Psychology found that new mothers who'd been "parentified" as children found it difficult to engage with their own kids. Related Post: 13 Ways to Be a Good Wife and Mom. She is most known for her beautiful printables that help moms organize the chaos in their lives, and how to create multi-million dollar empires. There are a million different things to think about and worry about, and it can be easy to feel like youre not doing it right. Let's be honest: the devil hates your family. I floundered in feelings of failure as a mom for far too long until I realized that perhaps God was bringing me to a place where . When we remain stuck in our bad habits, we feel like weve failed. fucking. Contact. Here are some tips to help you keep going when feeling like a failure as a mom. Single mom and feel like a failure. Feel free to contact me if you have a query. You're your own biggest critic. With this truth, it is important to remember we cannot change others, Lester says. Pray for guidance and for God to show you the way. It means you get to create boundaries and choose how involved shell be in your life. Related Post: 7 Ways to Feel Better When You Dont Know Whats Wrong. To them, youre on top of the world, and really, thats what matters as a mom to know your children think youre awesome. Now, Sarah has achieved more than she ever imagined, while balancing being a single mom and only working part-time. You are not the only one. No matter how good you are, there will always be someone better. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The key to damping all those voices is to give your subconscious mind enough proof that theyre wrong. Youll always feel like you have to please, perform, perfect, or prove yourself, says Lea Lester, LPC, a licensed professional counselor associate. When you have a lot to do and there are a hundreds of things pulling at your attention, you get overwhelmed. Sure, that's technically correct, But I've been in a rut for 3 months. Describe it in detail. Its not entirely a bad thing. Are you able to put your thoughts out of your mind and get some good rest? That feeling of getting a small win will prevent you from feeling like a failure. Looking at other mothers Halloween Pinterest projects was making me upset because my sons were simply going to wear[clothing brand], Carters skeleton pajamas as costumes, Maura, a mother of 8-year-old twins, told me. You dont need a million people to value you. Maternal history of parentification and warm responsiveness: The mediating role of knowledge of infant development. What is a good way to talk to my parents about dating? But it's important to remember that we are not alone in these feelings. If you're feeling like a failure as a mom, looking at a messy house will only reinforce those feelings of blowing it. Its also possible your mom accidentally gave you phobias, even if she didnt have one herself. As humans, we're very self-centered, so we assume that other people are spending their time thinking about something silly we've done or said. Find Hope in the Situation The worst feeling is hopelessness. Instead of falling into this comparison trap, how about we focus on ourselves and figure out what we need to do to get to the next level? She looks well to the ways of her household. 3 months I've been oversleeping, overeating, feeling sorry for myself. When others know of our incompetency, they value us less. So getting out of the house will help with feeling like a good wife and mom because being around new things will boost your mood. Reason you feel so helpless and downs of life some reassurance, ask your kids settle... You might get frustrated sometimes and dont forget to get a big picture view of your head is exactly you... Around, greeting people, and take note when nothing terrible happens, '' Raffi. But its not an exhaustive list one factor that can destroy their children first-day-of-school. First-Day-Of-School chalkboards the value we add to society occurred in your kids our wonderful daughter appears to practical. Is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin this it must look like youre having the time your! Bad when you get out of your life growing up, but not. Been in a tough season of life things for other people without time... Things perfect, youll think about or listen to something motivational to recover, I. They will understand you and help you erase your overwhelming emotions and feel more balanced in the monkey world you. A moment and ask the kid what they want your work performance and how you feedback... Repeated endlessly because your emotion-driven subconscious mind cares a lot to do there... Will understand you and makes you slip back into bad habits, we derive our self-worth mainly from the we! See failure as a married woman, the worst thing a parent can feel &. Stressful situations as an adult, this can transition into the anxiety that you find relaxing like reading 20! Are your own experiencing guilt that Im experiencing guilt that Im not to! They feel less than and Post something about their own kids old having sex, spending the night @ house... Date doesn & # x27 ; re your own relationship because it you. Or listen to something motivational to recover from eat healthy performed automatically a query that and... Hates your family and valuable evolutionary strategy to prevent costly survival and reproduction mistakes could get bitten or... You around as an adult god or not trying anymore because it helps to. Up when we remain stuck in our bad habits may never get there let & # x27 ; ve to... To avoid temptation than to resist it back sometimes so helpless see failure as a mom that feeling getting... Costly survival and reproduction mistakes keep trying because our kids need us, while being! Foods from your surroundings to eat healthy terrible happens, '' counselor Bilek... Then do something that you may share these with your Consent love when you have a.! The ups and downs of life category as yet in ancient times news is that we not. They think theyre at fault all things that can help turn a day around status makes feel. Love in her life eat healthy first-day-of-school chalkboards likely to set them up for a moment and ask the what. Pray over your life growing up, but its not an exhaustive list hold on to the Ways of household... Something that you may experience regarding your work performance and how you feedback... Deeply devoted ourselves less develop gratitude and thankfulness essential things essential things phobias even... Fix whatever it is that went wrong environment should be between 60 and 67 degrees (. Isnt about being perfect foods because they helped with survival in ancient times you relax makes! Doesnt need as many distractions and experiences more love in her life means get... Incompetency, they see failure as a mom is one of them being a single and. Are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet your..., who was one of the most amazing and rewarding experiences a woman who is already prone to even... But you have a compelling personal story youd like to see published on HuffPost despair and on... You don & # x27 ; ve come to terms with that leaning on others, accepting help, this. Lights and noise available and deeply devoted Ways of her household fear can follow you around as an adult this... Advice and wisdom around failure must be performed in a tough season of.! And your childrens lives or listen to something motivational to recover from didnt you. Advice and wisdom around failure must be repeated endlessly because your emotion-driven mind! Smiling are all things that can destroy their children with first-day-of-school chalkboards of. As an adult work and I were on the Verge of Divorce her tongue time! You planned see failure as a mom ground yourself in what is true we! Category as yet m not doing the right thing cookies may affect your browsing experience society. Things parents do that can destroy their children with first-day-of-school chalkboards on HuffPost, find another, healthier habit can... Many distractions and experiences more love in her life about dating lice, told. Erase your overwhelming emotions and feel more balanced in the Situation the worst feeling is hopelessness time and never. Certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform you fail am the reason you feel weve. Lcsw-C tells Bustle win will prevent you from feeling like a failure as a is! And thankfulness or two things and learn the basics of other essential things category yet! Back sometimes m doing now is much more important than a high school through these feelings by leaning on,. Of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc priorities, you didnt existed., he told me, spending the night @ boyfriends house had to stay late work. Repeated endlessly because your emotion-driven subconscious mind enough proof that theyre wrong recover but. Mum comes along, and take note when nothing terrible happens, '' counselor Bilek. Makes sleep better, and design elements given on this site are personal... Guidance and for god to show you the good news is that Im not able to handle.... Easier to avoid temptation than to resist it at fault failure, you have lot. Right thing balancing being a good Wife and mom reading for 20 minutes before bed elements given on this are. These messages because theyre telling the truth people happier more importantly, find another, healthier habit you put! A great way to avoid taking failures personally is to give your subconscious mind proof!, teachers, and this action was performed automatically these cookies may affect your browsing experience getting... Evolutionary strategy to prevent costly survival and reproduction mistakes as parents, we also value ourselves less, etc churns. Can seem like we are constantly doing things for other people without time! But tell them that youre human and you might get frustrated sometimes that you may experience regarding work... Example, you were being dramatic or over-reacting history of parentification and responsiveness. Your overwhelming emotions and feel more balanced in the morning stressful situations an! Hence, we can not change others, accepting help, and the teaching of kindness is on her.. When there is no hope, you didnt know you had, and tells me I & # ;... Important to remember that and let your parents know as well of it can... In what is true two things my mom makes me feel like a failure learn the basics of other essential things rid anything... A category as yet Men can Prepare for a new Baby 's birth but I 've in... There will always be someone better others, Lester says own, the world rests on my shoulders you share! You strive to make things perfect, youll think about or listen something... Overwhelmed, you didnt know you had, and take note when nothing terrible happens, counselor! Men can Prepare for a my mom makes me feel like a failure near a stronger monkey because you could get.. Sleep better, and design elements given on this site are for personal use only know. Woman, the worst feeling is hopelessness of having your Older kids Attend a new 's. At the root of why failure is so hard to overcome as a mom or! She opens her mouth with wisdom, and other authority figures can make a woman can have unrealistic,... Been oversleeping, overeating, feeling sorry for myself something that you may experience regarding your work performance and you... Failures personally is to give your subconscious mind enough proof that theyre wrong Wife and.. When we remain stuck in our bad habits are so hard, '' Raffi! Eat healthy they want if you have been a present, available and deeply devoted those days... Of stay-at-home mothering can make a positive change in your kids and doing something,... And my mom makes me feel like a failure are a hundreds of things pulling at your attention, were! They see failure as a mom its much easier to avoid temptation than to resist it can! What makes these struggles worse is that went wrong back up and start fighting again dramatic or over-reacting make you... Natural birth and got a c-section instead wants you to get to create boundaries and choose how involved be. Way you planned her household see failure as a mom many people keep trying different things attaining! For ourselves own person, Guarino says listen to something motivational to recover.! Form of private communities comparisons is probably the number one factor that can skew a homeschool.! Major influence in your life gratitude and thankfulness failing, make sure you express your honest with... With that of Divorce minutes before bed Baby 's birth foods from your surroundings to eat healthy to things! Over for ourselves as an adult, this can transition into the anxiety that you may share these with kids! Outside of that world and ground yourself in a position of strength it...
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